I wish life had little blips of pornography
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
