is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I intend to get homeless drunk
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They took my balls.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
