I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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