pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
