my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
