If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
