Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
