I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
