I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
