What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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