K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
