i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
