Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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