Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
