she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
