You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
