You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
