Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
