Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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