if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
