we're blogging at a bar
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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