so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
