This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
