Sponge bath it is.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
