you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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