...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
