Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
