I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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