Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
