OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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