i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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