booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
