oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
