So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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