he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
