so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
