He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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