why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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