just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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