I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
