things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why did my mother make you get naked?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
