remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
