Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
