ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
