You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
