I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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