i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
