My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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