she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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