so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
